I am not going home for Christmas, New Year's, or my sister's wedding. The flight is $1700, and there is no way for me to rationalize that. Yes, I suppose that I technically have $1700 that I could spend on a flight, but I would rather not. That's fucking expensive, and a flight in the spring would be half that price.

My sister has still not talked to me about the wedding, nor has she talked to my parents. They only know about it because of me, and I only know about it because my sister's fiance told me about it.

Also, I received this gem of a Facebook message from one of my sister's friends last week:

Is there any reason you won't come back for [the wedding]? I know you were there for her first one. Which was the biggest mistake, and everyone new it was. This one isn't a big mistake, this is the right one for her. They have their ups and downs, but they are truly meant for one another. I know it would mean so much to her if you could come home even if it was just for one day, for the day of the wedding. Your her sister. No matter how much the two of you have fought in the past and said nasty and mean things to each other, she still loves you very much. You know that. And it would mean the world to her if you could be there. So I know you Kate. You don't hate your family that much to not want to come home for you sisters 2nd wedding, the marriage that will end up lasting til death do us part! At least I hope you don't hate your family at all! More or less I'm begging you to come, for Sara. She doesn't even know that I am doing this right now. And if she did, she would probably get upset with me.

Everyone who is reading this can think I'm a bad person for not going to my sister's wedding, but I think we all know that if I gave her two months to book a flight to Europe during the busiest and most expensive time of the year, it wouldn't come as any great shock if she declined. And it wouldn't be offensive either.

Besides, she and I are not close. Yes, she's my only sister. But I haven't seen her in more than a year. She hasn't visited me in Prague. She never visited me in California. And I don't even hold those things against her but it does bug me that, for some reason, our relationship is my responsibility. Why do I have to reach out to her to talk about her wedding? If she wants me to be a part of it, she should talk to me about it.

Besides, I'm rather disgusted with her at the moment. Yesterday, she and her fiance got re-baptized at church. He actually baptized her. Ok, some of you will think that's sweet, but it kind of grosses me out. She also just joined some anti-abortion Facebook group. And I know she voted for McCain. We really don't have anything in common and it's not only my responsibility to work on that.